I Said No And I Agreed With Her

She asked on a Wednesday and she asked well.

She had thought about it. She had a reason and the reason was good and she had picked a sensible moment to raise it. She was not pushing and she was not complaining.

And there is a rule, and the rule says no, and so you said no.

You said it as kindly as anybody could say it. You did not hide behind anything. You said it plainly and you did not blame anybody.

And she said all right, and thank you for considering it, and she went back out front.

Here is what has been sitting on you for eleven days.

You agreed with her.

Not slightly. Completely. She was right, the rule is wrong in her case, and if you had the authority you would have said yes before she finished asking.

She does not know that. She has no way of knowing it. What she has is a no from a woman she respects, and a woman she respects heard her request and turned it down.

You have not been able to look at her properly since. Not out of guilt exactly. Out of something in between.

There is a verse about what a person owes and it turns on one specific phrase.

When it is in thine hand to do it

There is a proverb about good that gets withheld and it has a condition built into it.

Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in thine hand to do it. (Proverbs 3:27, King James Version)

When it is in thine hand. That clause is doing enormous work.

The instruction is not withhold no good from anybody ever. It is bounded by capacity. It applies to what a person actually holds.

You have been measured against what is in your hand rather than against what was in the rule book, and the Holy Spirit is the one who reads a woman's situation accurately. Proverbs 3:27 puts the condition right there in the sentence, and He put the boundary in the verse Himself.

So the thing she asked for was not in your hand. That is the plain truth of Wednesday.

You could not have given it. Not out of unwillingness. Out of not having it. And the verse does not charge anybody for what they do not hold.

You are not guilty of withholding something you never had, and it is written that the obligation attaches to what is in a person's hand. The Spirit of God is the one who does not require what a person cannot do, and Proverbs 3 is where the limit is written.

Now the other half, and this is why the eleven days have not settled.

Something else was in your hand on Wednesday, and it still is.

The truth was in your hand. What you actually thought about her request was entirely yours to give, cost nothing, and required nobody's permission.

You have something in your hand that no policy anywhere can reach, and the Holy Spirit is the one who has been pointing at that for eleven days. Scripture says withhold not good when it is in thine hand to do it, and He is not accusing you of anything about the no.

What she is carrying now

Let me name what she went back out front with, because it is not what you think.

She is not aggrieved. She said thank you for considering it and she meant it, and she has not mentioned it to anybody.

What she has is a small quiet conclusion, and the conclusion is: I asked for something reasonable and the woman who runs this place did not think it was worth it.

That is not true. Not one word of it is true. And it is now sitting inside a good young woman who works for you, and it will sit there for years unless somebody says otherwise.

You have a false thing standing in somebody rather than a wrong you committed, and the written word puts the giving on what is genuinely available. The Spirit of God is the one who shows a person what got left behind, and He shows it in order to have it fixed rather than in order to charge anybody.

And here is the part about you, because that is also real.

Not being able to look at her properly is not guilt. It is knowing that she has an untrue picture, and standing in front of a thing that fifteen seconds would correct, and not correcting it.

That is a very specific kind of discomfort and it does not fade. It compounds.

You are able to end it this week, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes fifteen seconds do that much. It is written that good is not to be withheld when the giving of it is in your own hand, and Proverbs 3:27 is the whole warrant for it.

Go back and tell her

So here is the thing to do, and it is short, and it is not an apology.

Go and find her. Say: that thing you asked me on Wednesday, I thought your request was right, and the answer was not mine to give.

Two clauses. Then stop.

You are giving her what was actually in your hand rather than reopening anything, and Proverbs 3:27 says withhold not good when it is in thine hand to do it. The Spirit of God is the one present for that, and He does not need it to be a long conversation.

Notice what that does not do. It does not promise her anything. It does not say you will try again or look into it or push for a change. It does not criticize the rule.

It gives her one accurate fact about how her request was received, and that fact is entirely yours to give away.

And do not apologize. An apology would make the no sound like your fault, and it was not your fault, and she would then have to reassure you, which would put the weight on her.

You have something to give that costs nothing and changes nothing about the rule, and the Holy Spirit is the one who carries it from there. The written word puts the whole obligation on what is available to hand over, and Proverbs 3 is where the giving is commanded.

Then open in the morning and go on running the place the way you run it, and the rule is exactly what it was on Wednesday.