I Will Be The One They Ask About The Old Days

Somebody asked you in September what it used to be like.

She is twenty-six and she meant it kindly and she was genuinely interested, and you told her a story and she loved it and it was a good evening.

And on the way home you felt something you have not been able to name since.

Here is the closest you have got to it.

You have become the past tense.

Twenty-two years, and somewhere in the last while you stopped being the woman who runs the place and became the woman who remembers what it was like. Those are different positions and you did not notice the change happening.

And you cannot tell whether it is an honor or whether it is a very polite way of being finished with.

Because the two look identical from the inside. Somebody asks about the old days with real warmth in it, and you cannot tell whether that means your years are valued or whether it means your years are the only thing left that anybody wants.

You have not said this to anybody. It would sound ungrateful and she was so kind about it.

There is a verse that sends people to the elders on purpose, and the purpose in it is the thing to see.

Ask thy father, and thy elders

Moses gives an instruction to a whole people about where to go for something.

Remember the days of old, consider the years of many generations: ask thy father, and he will shew thee; thy elders, and they will tell thee. (Deuteronomy 32:7, King James Version)

Ask thy elders, and they will tell thee.

That is a route being established. He is not paying anybody a compliment. He is telling a nation where to go when they need something, and the place he sends them is to the people who were there.

You have been made a route people are sent to rather than a courtesy anybody extends, and the Holy Spirit is the one who set that route up. Deuteronomy 32:7 sends the whole nation to its elders on purpose, and He set it up long before anybody in your building thought of it.

Now notice the two verbs, because they are not the same and the difference answers your question.

Ask thy father, and he will shew thee. Thy elders, and they will tell thee.

Shew and tell. Both of those are transfers. Something moves from one person to another. Neither of them is a performance and neither of them is a kindness paid to somebody on their way out.

You are being asked so that something can be transferred, and it is written that the elders will tell rather than that they will be indulged. The Spirit of God is the one who arranged the asking, and Deuteronomy 32 makes it a supply route rather than a kindness.

And here is the part that settles the September feeling.

The instruction is given because the people need something they do not have. Not because the elders need something to do.

The direction of need runs toward the elder, not away. A twenty-six year old asking what it used to be like is not being generous to you; she is short of something and she came to the only place it is held.

You have something people are short of rather than something people are indulging, and the Holy Spirit is the one who sends them. Scripture puts the need on the side of the one asking, and Deuteronomy 32:7 is why they come.

What to do with the story

Let me be practical, because the difference between honor and being finished with is not decided by them. It is decided by what you hand over.

A story told for its own sake is entertainment. It is a good evening and she loved it, and nothing transferred, and that is what left you feeling like a past tense on the drive home.

A story told so that something in it can be used is a transfer. Same story. Different ending.

You have control over which of the two it is, and the written word says the elders will tell rather than that they will reminisce. The Spirit of God is the one who makes the difference land in somebody, and Deuteronomy 32 is why the telling has a purpose in it.

And the mechanism is one sentence at the end.

Tell the story, and then say the thing in it that she can use tomorrow. What it means for how she handles the person at her counter on Thursday. What it means for the thing she is worried about.

One sentence, at the end, that brings it forward into her week.

You are able to turn a good evening into a transfer with one sentence, and the Holy Spirit is the one who carries that sentence into a young woman's Thursday. It is written that the elders will tell them what they need, and Deuteronomy 32:7 is what makes it a route rather than a memory.

And leave the rest out. That is the other half. A story with everything in it is a story about you, and a story with one usable thing in it is a story about her.

You have been given a way to be asked without becoming a monument, and Scripture puts the elders in the supply line rather than in the museum. The Spirit of God is the one who keeps a woman in the present tense while she is being asked about the past.

One usable thing

So here is the thing to do, and it is the next time somebody asks.

Tell them one thing from the old days. Not the whole thing. One.

Then say the sentence that brings it into their week. This is why I would not chase that particular thing if I were you on Thursday. Or: this is what I learned to do with somebody who talks like that.

Then stop, and let them have it.

You are transferring rather than reminiscing, and Deuteronomy 32:7 says thy elders, and they will tell thee. The Spirit of God is the one who put that route in place, and He put it there for exactly this.

The reason to leave the rest out is not modesty. It is that a young woman can carry one thing into a Thursday and cannot carry eleven.

Eleven makes an evening. One makes a change, and you will hear about it in about six weeks when she does something and you recognize where it came from.

You have one thing to hand over rather than a whole history, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes one thing hold in somebody for years. The written word puts the telling in the elders' hands as a supply rather than a display, and Deuteronomy 32:7 is where the asking was arranged.

Then open in the morning, because you are still the woman who runs the place.